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Posted on
September 03, 2010
by teresa
Mother's continued...
In Proverbs is says, "Train up a child in the way they should go..." I've found tremendous relief reading that verse while struggling with my parenting skills by standing firm to those words "should go." That verse does not say in the way your teen "wants to to go" but in the way that is right and honoring.
There are times teen girls aren't always going to make the choices we'd want them to and unfortunately I've had to endure tears and sleepless nights wondering what I can do to save my daughter from herself. After much prayer and sound Biblical council with friends I've learned that I cannot resuce my children from the cross. As hard as this is, I must step aside out of God's way so that He has the freedom to move and work in her life without me getting in the middle of it.
God is the most perfect Parent and throughout our lives we've chosen to do what we want instead of what He knows is best for us. Always point your children to seek God and His will.
Take responsibility. Have you ever tried to play a game that you weren't sure how to play and found yourself frustrated and not having much fun? Make sure your daughter knows and understands the family rules. Otherwise, you both will become angry and not want to deal with each other. If your daughter refuses to listen and obey the house rules, don't give into her. Stand firm. Your daughter is looking for structure and boundaries and at this age, it makes her feel loved and secure, even though her actions say something different. It's okay for our girls to be disappointed. Life isn't perfect, and we're going to drive ourselves crazy trying to make it that way.
I have had to say no many times to my girls or take away a planned time with friends because of a poor attitude, and I've seen them change from my enemy to someone who wants to share and spend time with me. Enforcing the rules of our home tells our girls that we care enough about them to take the time to invest and teach them.
Know when to give space. I think respecting one another's space is important. How many times as an adult have we made plans to get away to be alone, invest in some pampering time or hang with our friends? We all at times need some space to clear our heads and take a break from the relentless attacks from life.
So moms please respect your daughter's space when you first see her after school. Don't blast her with questions, chores, and disappointments as soon as she hops in the car or walks in the door. Let your daughter unwind, eat a snack and feel safe with you to share how her day was. You have no idea what she's been through at school.
If you have an expectation for her to get something done immediately after school discuss it with her in the morning and leave your daughter a written note as a reminder for when she gets home from school. Allow her to learn to be responsible but also know that if she doesn't follow through with her responsibilities there will be consequences of extra chores for her lack of obedience.
Conclusion.
Okay mom's and daughter's it all comes down to this: Well-intended efforts can get in the way of what God wants to do or is doing in our lives. And we can become impatient and decide to control and manage situations with anger, guilt tactics, and manipulation to get what we want, instead of working on improving ourselves by living a life of purity and obedience to God. Let's remember to act in faith and not fear when family issues arise.
"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14:33
Posted on
September 01, 2010
by saradelight*
I stumbled across a book recently and wanted to share a few quotes...
great reminders of the priceless treasure we all possess, quite
possibly in need of a little dusting...:) hope all is well!
-saradelight*
Chapter title: The Bible
"To what shall the Bible be likened to? Shall it be appraised for its
esthetic achievements? Some people hail it as 'literature', as if such
a juxtaposition were the highest praise, as if 'literature' were the
climax of spiritual reality. What would Moses, what would Isaiah have
said of such praise? Perhaps the same as Einstein would have said, if
the manuscript of his Theory of Relativity were acclaimed for its
beautiful handwriting.....there are many literatures, but One Bible..."
"The Bible is not in need of proof of its singularity. It has
exercised power over the spirit of man throughout the ages not because
it was labeled "The Word of God" and poured into the minds of man
through the funnel of a dogma, but because it contained a light that
set souls aflame...."
"Like God, it is often misused and distorted by unclean minds, yet its
capactiy to withstand the most vicious attacks is boundles. The vigor
and veracity of its ideas are perceptible under the rust and batter of
two millenia of debate and dogma: it does not fade in spite of
theology nor collapse under abuse..."
"The Greatness of the Bible becomes more manifest when studied within
the framework of universal history, and it's majesty increases with
the reader's familiarity. Irrefutable, indestrctable, never wearied by
time, the Bible wanders throught the ages, giving itself with ease to
all mankind as if it belonged to every soul on earth. It speaks in
every language and in every age. We all draw upon it and it remains
pure, inexhaustible, and complete. In three thousand years it has not
aged a day. It is a book that cannot die.
"The Bible has shattered man's illusion of being alone, Sinai broke
the cosmic silence that thickens our blood with despair. God does not
stand afar off from our cries; He is not only a pattern, but a power,
and life is a response, not a soliloquy...."
"The Bible is man's greatest privilege..."
"The Bible is not an end, but a beginning...Its being embedded in
particular historic situations has not deterred it from being
everlasting. Nothing in it is surreptitious or trite. It is not an
epic about the life of heroes but the story of every man in all
climates and all ages. Its topic is the world, the whole of history,
containing the constitution of a united mankind as well as guidance
toward establishing such a union. It shows the way to nations as well
as to individuals. It continues to scatter seeds of justice, and
compassion, to echo God's cry to the world..."
"The Bible is not behind the times, it is ages ahead of our aspirations"
"It has elicited more holiness and compassion for mankind than we are
able to comprehend"
"It is a book which can conceivably be precious not only to man, but
to God."
Posted on
August 24, 2010
by leigh
Dear POM Ladies,
I wrote some things that I wish someone would have told me when I was your age. You know, I really understand sexual temptations and how difficult they can be. My desire is for you to see God’s truth….how He loves you and that is why He set up the boundary to only have sex in marriage. It is to protect you. He wants the best for you and so do I. That’s why I’m writing for you. If you are struggling or need prayer, just write on the blog. You can do so anonymously. You are not alone, I’ve been there. Love, Leigh
I wish I would have known……
That having sex with a guy didn’t mean that he loved me. Having sex also didn’t mean he valued me, treasured me, or put my best interests above his. Just because a guy had sex with me didn’t mean he cared.
That just because I had sex with a guy didn’t mean that I loved him. I used some of the guys I was with. I took from them what didn’t belong to me. I robbed them from being able to wholly and fully give themselves to their future wives.
Love is a committed decision. Feelings come and go, but love that lasts a lifetime is based on steadfast, loyal, and dedicated resolve. Love isn’t a hasty sexual experience.
Sex produces deep bonds, even if I didn’t feel it at the time. There is no such thing as “hooking up.” Even if two people decide to have sex declaring they won’t have an emotional attachment, the reality is, it still exists. Long after your body moves on to another partner, the soul and spirit still remember.
How bad I would feel after my promiscuity. I’ve spent my whole life covered in a veil of shame, until God recently removed it. Precious time was wasted as I was paralyzed by depression, fatigue, headaches, and mood swings. God’s graciousness has taken that away.
It’s true that some guys will say and do anything for sex. Not all of them, but some of them will. It’s true. It might be hard to believe, but it’s true.
How fun it would be to just date. I didn’t. Except for one long-term boyfriend in high school, I had casual sex in all my relationships. I wish I would have just had pure, simple fun.
That giving away my body for free wouldn’t bring me freedom. It stole my dignity and happiness and put me in a prison.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Sometimes people do things that scar you for life and only Jesus can fix it.
Having sex didn’t make me a woman. Becoming a woman is a process of time, and becoming a strong woman takes virtue, character, and self-control.
My actions didn’t surprise God. He knew what I was doing and what I was. He still called me right in the middle of it. None of my sins were too great to be forgiven.
What I put in to my mind affects how I think about things. The wrong type of T.V., movies and videos can put inappropriate thoughts in my head.
There’s freedom in surrender. When I find I have nowhere else to go but the foot of the Cross, that’s where I experience grace. When I’m empty, He fills me. Where I’m weak, His power is unleashed. He really can overcome any circumstance. 2Cor 2:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
God’s plans and mine are often two totally different things! I admit it, His plans are definitely better than anything I could come up with, even if I don’t see it at the time.
Sometimes life just hurts and that it is okay to hurt.
God thinks I’m someone special. Eph 3:18-19 Apostle Paul prays that we “may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
Posted on
August 13, 2010
by teresa
Mother's and daughter's are not always going to agree. "No kidding right?" But did you know that you can still have the relationship you've always wanted without always having to engage in battle? Here are my suggestions on how to work things out.
Girls...
As you, my teen girl, endure daily life, trying to figure out who you are and how to deal with the expectations that surround you like fitting in, maintaining your grades, weekly, projects, the drama of friends, relationships with guys, the consuming thoughts you have of your self-image, home life, siblings, chores, sports, temptations, hobbies, church, service and so on. Where do you unplug and hide from it all? You may believe you can find all the answers on your own, but pushing your mom away isn't smart.
I know it seems as though your mom's not on your side, but trust me she is. She wants your life to be better than when she was your age and doesn't want you to make mistakes you'll one day regret. Look upon your mom's heart and maintain your moodiness. Coming off short tempered and irritated isn't cool behavior, and you've got to learn self-control. I've lived through this chaos in my own life as a teen, and now I am raising four daughters. With the multitude of female attitudes that surround me, it can spin my mind, making situations seem worse than they really are.
So here's a couple of ways that can help the two of you to get along:
Take responsibility: When your mom wants to discuss something with you and you go into defense mode, understand the importance of having that conversation and don't try and dodge it, especially if you did something wrong. Own up to it, and take responsibility for your mistakes. Or if your mom wants to challenge you to step up and out of your comfy life, take on her challenge with an open heart. There are times when I had to insist that my girls go and experience life in way that they never have before. That new experience ignited a fire and passion in them while they made life long friends. So listen to her words of experience and show your mom your maturity. She really does know you better than you think.
Know when to give space: Before taking matters into your own hands, have respectful boundaries with your mom. She does a lot for the family. Give her some space without always filling up every minute of her day doing things for you. Don't demand, lash out, or plead with your mom to run you and your friends around or expect her to always allow you to have a friend spend the night. Instead listen and respect your mom without a fight, and maybe the next time you ask her for a favor she'll be more inclined to say yes. Maturity comes with understanding that your mom has a lot of things to worry about that goes beyond just your wants and needs.
Now for moms:
As a parent it's difficult to be patient when you're feeling the pinch of your daughter's peer pressure and the fear of losing her. And todays culture is far more toxic than when we were adolescents. But take heart. The number one thing you can do for your little girl is spend time praying for her. Pray not just for what you want for her, but also for what God wants her to be. This will take time, and it's important your daughter knows and feels that your love for her is unconditional.
To be continued...
i love my mom love hannah
Posted on
July 27, 2010
by teresa
Teen Mania #2 July, 25-31 -2010
Brian Chinn, and Newsboys, from Global Expeditions along with Baja Christian Ministries and other great leaders, leading almost 400 wonderful young hearts to bless 6 family's in need of homes, also reaching the community's for Jesus 
Posted on
July 14, 2010
by leigh
Precious Pom girls, as I wrote this, I wanted you to know how much God loves you. Just like He has done in my life, He wants to free you from whatever pain is in your heart. He is able, more than able. He has provided so much for my journey of healing. What will your journey look like? Take His hand and let Him show you. Love you all, Leigh
My favorite spot at my house is an outdoor sofa in my backyard. Often I go take a rest and let the warm sun shine on my face. It’s a place where I like to talk to God. This past year, my outdoor sofa carried the burden of my many hours spent weeping and mourning the choices of my past.
Simply put, I just hurt. I’ve been faithfully married for awhile now and have wonderful children. Several people have even commented to me that I have the perfect life. So, why did I feel so bad? Deep inside, I knew the truth. About a year ago the pain and shame of my past promiscuity really started to un-nerve me. Memories and feelings surfaced from a distant lifestyle I wanted to forget about. I tried not to hide behind a mask and wanted to be vulnerable with people, but my shame prevented me from doing that. I was too embarrassed about my past life to really be able to embrace the wonderful life that God has given me now. With great despair, I existed stuck in a rut and a big pit. I so desperately wanted to be free.
“How many tears do I have to cry?” I asked. “Will I ever be able to heal from the hurt of my bad choices?” I pondered. My promiscuous lifestyle left my heart scarred and damaged. Even though I had been forgiven, I still lived my life bound in bondage to the sins of my past. Shame had a stronghold on me and left me unable to move forward. I knew I wanted to change and began to realize the weight of my sin was simply too much for me to bear alone. I was trying to work my sin out myself and it had left me weary and depressed. God was calling me to surrender. “Surrender it all to me. Abandon your past life,” He spoke to me. Psalm 51: 10 became my desire “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
So, recently one day while I was crying on my outdoor sofa, I asked God to forgive me. “God, I’m sorry I haven’t trusted you with all my life’s circumstances,” I anguished. “I’m so foolish, God. How many times do you need to rescue me from the pit,” I asked. He answered me, “I will rescue you over and over and over and over again. As many times as it takes. I will never let you go.” I thought of Psalm 40:1-2 “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Right then, my heart knew that God had not only forgiven me, but that now He wanted to heal me and restore me. He wanted to rescue me from my past and give me freedom from the self-condemnation I experienced. I felt like I had been living in a gray tunnel and God took the tunnel of shame away! For the first time in my life I didn’t feel the weight of the shame pulling me down.
When I sat in church this past Sunday, I felt free! It was the most peaceful feeling I have ever experienced. The fifty pound bag of shame that I carried around with me my whole life was gone. Erased. Wiped out. Forgotten. Forgiven. Gone….forever. He has unbound me into a new life to be the woman He created me to be. It’s a life free from the embarrassment and humiliation of my bad choices. God is not condemning me, so therefore I should not condemn myself. My sins were paid for on the Cross and they are forgiven as far as the east is from the west. I do not need to carry them as baggage any longer. I am redeemed. 2Cor 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” As God has delivered me from the chains of my old life, I’m able see myself as a new creation, through the truth of His eyes. In the past I viewed myself as used and broken damaged goods. Now I can see myself as He does- loved, treasured, valued, and precious.
His truth enables me to live life abundantly, while “a thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”( The Message John 10:10) God has taken me to a place of such freedom and peace, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Through this, I’m able to overcome my past and live released in the present. He’s also given me hope for the future while He’s renewing me as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend. So, as I sit on my little worn out sofa in my back yard, instead of crying tears of anguish, I’m able to smile. I can look to heaven, take a deep breath with a grateful heart and thank Him for all He has done in my life. Eph 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Posted on
July 05, 2010
by t xoxo
Posted on
June 30, 2010
by teresa/leigh
Hello my precious POM girls.
Some of you have been reading the blogs that Leigh has posted on this site. She's transparent and honest as she shares the painful poor choices she had made as a young adult. God is in the process of transforming her heart from broken and defeated to a woman that is whole and perfect by His grace and redemptive love. Leigh is my hero.
Are you dealing with a painful situation? I am here to let you know there is HOPE. Below is a email i received yesterday afternoon from Leigh. I asked her if it was ok to post it. I felt as though this email will encourage your heart and remind you that God loves you.
Hi T,
I just wanted to share with you how God has been so faithful to me. Determined as I was to be done with my journey, I'm so grateful that God spoke to me that He loved me too much to leave me in the state I was in. I felt like I had progressed so well and then, WHAM, back into the pit I crawled again. In my pit, I took my 50 pounds of baggage, put it on top of me, covered it with dirt myself and then had a cement mixer pour concrete on top. There I was, poor little me with all my shame in my pit, never to be seen from again. Foolish me, fortunately God took my hand, although I was kicking and screaming for relief from all the pain, and He showed me how He wants to do so much more in my life.
I can't believe that I almost missed out on some of the best parts of the journey--the healing. God is showing me in amazing ways how He has not only forgiven me, but wants to heal me and restore me, in ways I never imagined. I don't know how long it will take, but I know He is so faithful. Sometimes living in the death of the shadows seems easier than moving into the light. I've been praying as I surrender everything to Him, that He will keep giving me courage to live in the light...the path to the abundant life. It's a lot of heart work and taking thoughts captive, yet so freeing as well. Abandon and surrender feel soooooooo good :) Grateful His love doesn't depend on me :)
When we spoke a few months ago, I remember you telling me that God was giving me a new heart. Yes, thankfully He is.
Posted on
June 18, 2010
by saradelight*
Hey girls...i've started a new section on POM called saradelight* Many of you love to write and my awesome girlfriend saradelight* from the band Inhabited is an amazing writer herself. Im giving her and you my "POM girls" this space to write your thoughts, struggles and feelings. Enjoy being creative. I love you. xoxox-t
Wow...the Wind...that "unseen” force, our "invisible” reality. It has no "fingers”, yet, even as I pen these thoughts, it plays a beautiful tune on the wind chime nearby...Then it moves on, whistling through the air, giving breath to an entire forest of trees...allowing us to "see” them as they truly are...”alive”... Their "limbs” sway back and forth, like the hands of a great conductor, leading the orchestra of Creation. The Birds sit, each one perched on different limbs, like the seating of an old theatre. Each awaits his cue...Suddenly, one starts with a solo, then all join in together, as one great symphony! Wow! Never once, does one bird overshadow another's song, or play a note that clashes in pitch or frequency with anyone else's in the group...truly a musical phenomenon...
Again, I notice the Wind, as it carries the music...then, I "feel” it....the "breath of life”. It whist past me, but stops, just long enough for a dance in my hair. It hums in my ear, then it's gone...wow...what mystery...how the Wind brings, what one would often consider the "unconscious” forms of nature to life, at the same time, awakening the human consciousness to such beauty, such reality....right here among us...a touch of ”Eden”...
It is here...in this moment...that I find God...no, not the intangible, disconnected One, who "calls to war our body and spirit”...interesting...in fact, quite the contrary. It is here, I find our "Senses” are crowned with honor. "Instinct”, is a cherished gift...the universal compass of sorts... Here I find no disdain in "feeling”...Rather, it is encouraged, as the miracle of the human experience...Ahhhh, what freedom...physical and spiritual cognizance...in this place without walls...unaccompanied by "man's” opinions....here, in the Great Outdoors, I find my Teachers, my Sages....the ones I never before considered as such...the Ones I never before, heard speak at all...
Once again, the wind blow across my face, and I confess, I "truly” feel alive...I breathe in deeply....
It is here...in these months of contemplation...through this quest for "truth”..that I have found Him...where the "invisible” becomes visible...where "faith” is far from "blind”..where God the Artist, not only passionately interacts with all of His creation...but waits...
What a magnificent place we live....”Earth”, where our Creator truly resides,,.where He chooses to set His Great Canvas...Unbelievable!!! Every minute a "new” heaven takes shape and form before our very eyes. At the nearing of each sunset, His color choices are so vivid. He invites the greatest of skeptics to bask in awe of His art...God the Father, the Creator of all, is far from the bland and boring...He rides upon the wings of the wind, unbound, full of adventure, life..full of NEW...
"Be still, and know that I am God...” Wow...what a gem of truth...beneath the open sky, under the arch of these sapphire heavens, within this panoramic view...surrounded by a circle of sound so fascinating...this music....speaks. The more I stop to listen, the more I hear, the more I "see”...the more I learn....
The mundane sinks like a broken ship, Mystery returns.... Psalms 19:1-4.Job12:7-8.
Posted on
June 15, 2010
by leigh
Like every girl, I dreamed of what it would be like to fall in love with someone. At 19 years of age, I watched with jealousy as many of my friends got into close relationships. It was painful and I wondered when I would get my turn. One cold January night it happened. I didn’t mean to fall so quickly and so hard for Lance. It was easy, though.
My friends and I stopped for a late night pizza at a restaurant. We giggled when Lance walked through the door and whispered to each other, “Who’s THAT?” Lance was tall, dark and handsome, with skin naturally bronzed by days spent surfing at the beach. He made small talk with my friends and I at our table and we were instantly drawn to each other. We spent the next few hours talking. What I liked most about Lance was not his striking good looks, but his kind, thoughtful demeanor and laid back attitude. He had just graduated from college with honors and was eagerly looking forward to beginning the career he had worked so hard for. Lance was every girl’s Prince Charming.
Ben, Lance’s friend, must have noticed how quickly we were falling for each other that evening at the restaurant. So Ben informed me that Lance already had a serious girlfriend. “We‘re breaking up,” Lance assured me, “It’s just not working out with her.” “Okay”, I smiled at him. Things would be fine, I told myself. At first everything seemed wonderful as we began to date. I loved hanging out at Lance’s tiny apartment on the beach. As an avid surfer, Lance promised to teach me to ride the waves as soon as the weather became warmer. I couldn’t wait! Things were going so well with him. I knew we would fall deeply in love and always be together.
The dates I had with him were very romantic as we enjoyed meaningful conversations with walks on the beach. But, suddenly, my relationship with Lance left me at a difficult crossroad. We didn’t know each other that long when Lance asked me about having a physical relationship with him. I was nervous about what to do. I knew we shared deep feelings in the short amount of time we were together. It was different with Lance then when I was with my first boyfriend, John. When I was 17 I knew I made a mistake when I had sex with John a few times. I guarded my heart so carefully after John to keep that from happening again. It was okay with Lance, I justified. We were falling in love. As Lance re-assured me of his feelings, I chose to begin a sexual relationship with him. I naively trusted him to love me, protect my emotions, and never leave me.
It seemed so right, so how could having such a deep involvement with Lance be wrong? God’s Word says “to flee from immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” 1 Cor. 6:18 So instead of obeying God’s command, I listened to my feelings and reasoned it was appropriate to have sex with Lance. I trusted my own thoughts, not God’s, as I believed my behavior could never possibly hurt Lance or myself. I never imagined there would ever be any consequences to my sin. What I didn’t understand is that God had set certain standards to protect me and my fragile emotions. In my haste to be with Lance, I didn’t realize deep feelings would surface for him after being so intimately connected to him.
A few weeks later, I wasn’t worried when Lance’s ex-girlfriend, Victoria called. I was completely secure in our new relationship. Lance had even told me how easily he could fall in love with me. When we said goodbye one afternoon I knew I would see him again. I couldn’t wait to talk to him and was so happy when he called after a few days. “Leigh,” Lance calmly said, “I can’t see you anymore. I’m getting back together with Victoria.” “Lance, how could you do that?” I asked. My whole world came crashing do wn and my heart shattered into a million pieces.
Devastation. Pain. Hurt. Regret. My mind was flooded with so many emotions. I felt so foolish that I had trusted Lance. When I spoke to him a few weeks later I found out that he and Victoria couldn’t work things out. I learned they had been high school sweethearts who were considering getting married. Guilt plagued me as I felt like I was the reason they didn’t get back together. Yet at the same time, I was hopeful that Lance and I would continue our relationship.
My hopes were dashed as Lance told me that he needed time to be alone, but if we had met some time later, things could be different between us. As painful as it was, I told Lance I couldn’t wait for him. I didn’t want to be someone’s second choice. Deep in my heart, I knew I could never, ever trust Lance again. We could never start over, there was simply too much emotion that happened too quickly. Having sex ruined our relationship. After my relationship ended with Lance, I experienced a deep loss. I was keenly aware of what I carelessly gave away to him. Intimate moment s and private thoughts shared with each other were never supposed to occur outside of a marriage. I felt so used and I didn’t understand how he could have been with me while still pondering his old girlfriend. Even though Lance told me how sorry he was, the damage had already been accomplished. The promises he made to me became vacant, hollow thoughts and it hurt. Months after we stopped seeing each other, I still struggled with the deep feelings I had experienced. I felt pain that I wasn’t good enough to have kept Lance from going back to Victoria. It was out of that pain of feeling so bad about myself that I started to easily give myself away to other guys. If I could prove to myself that I was good enough, then surely I would feel better and Lance would realize his mistake.
Things didn’t quite work out that way, though. I continued to dig a bigger and bigger hole for myself as I casually began to sleep with other guys. Truly, I still wanted to be with Lance and didn’t feel anything beyond mere attraction to those I was physical with. I should have let myself grieve the loss of the relationship with Lance and given myself time to heal before I started to date other guys. I wasn’t ready. Instead of making myself feel better, I felt worse, way worse by allowing guys to use my body. Also, I felt terrible as my grades at college dramatically declined. I was off to medical school or law school as an honors student, and now I was barely passing. All my goals for my future ended as my mind and body were so distracted by the lure of sexual experiences. My whole wardrobe changed as I traded my cute, trendy clothes for short skirts and tight midriff baring tank tops. The innocent college girl that Lance was so enamored by no longer existed. The confident fun-loving girl I used to be was replaced by a damaged, broken, and shattered image of the person I became.
I never knew that cold night in January would change my life forever. If someone would have told me that having pre-marital sex with Lance would so radically alter me I never would have seen it coming. Unfortunately, that is how sin is. My sin took me to a place farther than I ever imagined. Gal 6:7-8 says “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” I definitely reaped the emotional consequences of my sin. They are consequences that have lasted my whole life. It is only God’s grace that has helped to free me from the pit of shame that sought to destroy me. It is God’s love that frees me from a painful past and helps me to embrace forgiveness. It is the work on the cross that clothes me in white and redeems me.
Posted on
June 03, 2010
by t
Swimsuit #2
ok my lovely ladies~
I went back and forth between two different styles of tankinis to post. I chose this one cuz i think its important for you to process what your ideals are when it comes to swimsuits and where you'd draw the line on what you think is too skimpy.
can't wait to read your responses.
xoxoox
t
Posted on
May 25, 2010
by Teresa
my amazing graphed in girls -
thank you for allowing me into your school and listening to my story. I am so proud of all you. I love you dearly. I don't know what your going through, but know that i'll always be here for you.
You are a daughter of the King of Kings a masterpiece created for this time. Embrace it.
The rest of the pix from our time together i'll upload to the picture gallery. Go to the event tab then click on photo gallery.
♥
Posted on
May 25, 2010
by tereas
Hey my Lovely girls ITS SUMMER TIME, well just about for us on the west coast. for the rest of you your already enjoying those relaxing days of summer.
Since the summer hot weather is near i thought we'd have some fun and look at some bathing suits. I started off my showing one thats much more modest than the typical two piece.
Let me know your thoughts about a one piece bathing suit over the bikini and why.
love you girls with all my heart ♥♥♥
Posted on
May 22, 2010
by leigh
Another rainy day kept us in class for in-door lunch. My friend and I sat in our seats and passed notes to each another, like every 6th grade girl did. While writing my note to my friend, I would just stare at him. Michael. Michael was my very first crush. I liked him so much, but I was beyond geeky for him to notice me. So, I just kind of liked to stare at him. Without any hesitation I passed a note to my friend that had the words "Leigh loves Michael" written on it. Heather was my best friend, and I could trust her. No one else knew that I had a big time crush on Michael. I finished my lunch and took my turn in the bathroom.
Imagine my shock and humiliation when I returned from the restroom and saw "Leigh loves Michael" written about 10 times all over the chalk boards. I ran back to the bathroom and just cried. My face must have been as red as an apple from the embarrassment I experienced. I was completely devastated. As I stood crying in the bathroom stall, I knew eventually I would need to return to my class. Truly, I had no courage or dignity to return, but I knew I had to be strong. Holding back the tears, I returned to my class. That day hurt me so much.
I learned that day how life hurts sometimes. As I accused my friend Heather of leading the attack against me, I saw how sad she was that I thought she could do something like that. She stood firm in her story that somehow the note had dropped on the floor, and one of the other, more popular girls, Christina, had picked it up. I didn't understand why Christina led her other friends to do that to me. We had known each other since second grade, played sports together, and had countless sleep-overs. Things had changed, though. Christina was friends with the popular girls now, and I was hopelessly nerdy. The painful actions of the girls let me know exactly where I stood in the social order, nowhere. Still to this day, that memory reminds me of how difficult it is to make and keep friends.
If you are having a hard time with finding some friends that you can be real with, start praying! Jesus understands how hard it is to be here on earth. I love Hebrews 4:14-16 "Now that we know what we have-Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God-let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all -all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what He is so ready o give. Take the mercy, accept the help." (The Message)
I know from my own experiences that God has been so faithful in providing me with a network of wonderful Christian friends. but first I had to pray for God to change my heart and He began to change my idea of what kind of people I wanted to be friends with. It started with me, realizing what type of friend I wanted to have. If I desired honest, trust-worthy, real friends, then I had to be that kind of person, also. I had to be a mirror of what I wanted. Proverbs27:19 says, "Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart."
Posted on
May 20, 2010
by t
Posted on
May 07, 2010
by t
Posted on
May 06, 2010
by leigh
I wish I would have known that I had a precious gift. It was a priceless gift, a treasure. It was something to be guarded and only given away on my wedding night. Unfortunately, I didn't know the value of the gift and I carelessly let others unwrap what didn't belong to them. Like every other present, once it is given away, it can never be taken back. What was once a beautiful, pure, and innocent gift became damaged, broken, and used. Giving away the gift is a deep regret that has lasted my whole life.
When I was 19, my philosophy was "don't have any regrets." I was a culture girl, living by own set of rules. My life looked like any popular t.v. show. I ran with a pretty cool crowd, dated the "it" guys, and had a revolving door of sexual relationships. Sadly, I believed the lies from the media about my lifestyle. The media wanted me to think that everyone was engaging in pre-marital sex and that it was okay to do so. The media wanted me to believe life was about being sexy to get the perfect guy so he could make me happy. The media said casual sex was exciting, glamorous, and romantic. The media even told me I could give myself away and I wouldn't have any regrets. The media wanted me to think there were no consequences or painful emotions that resulted from casual sex. The media made me believe that I could do whatever I wanted and there were no costs. Well, I know the truth now, the media was wrong. The truth is, there are huge, enormous costs to pre-marital sex that no one ever likes to talk about.
Here's the truth about sex. In Gen 2:24 God created a man and a woman to become "one flesh." What solidifies the bond of a husband and wife is their one-ness that occurs during their sexual union. God set the standard that this union would only happen during marriage. Anything outside of marriage is sin and false, and does not produce the feelings and emotional bond that God intended. The intention of a husband and wife's sexual relationship was for pro-creation and to bond them for life. God was so unique in His design that He made sex the only activity to encompass all 3 parts of our being: body, soul, and spirit. The body is our physical being. The soul is where the mind and emotions are stored. The spirit is our eternal being. Since all 3 parts of the being are engaged during sex, it is a very deep and emotional experience. Marriage is the only place secure enough to handle such a complex attachment to another person.
Now, here's the truth about pre-marital sex. In study after study, over 70 percent of people polled regret having sex before marriage. On the other hand, 0 percent regretted being a virgin when they got married. That's ironic, isn't it? It's amazing to think that most people regret the very thing they think others are doing and should be enjoying themselves. There are reasons why I felt so bad after having casual sex. It's painful to realize I gave a precious part of myself away to guys who really didn't value, respect, or love me. A lot of heartache occurred when relationships ended with someone I was close to. Also, it's hard to know I bonded emotionally in sacred unions I never should have participated in. I'm not the only one who lost because of my sin. My husband, my past lovers', and their spouses all lost, too. Simply said, everyone loses because their are feelings, memories, and bonds where there shouldn't be. That made it much harder to give all of myself to my spouse when little pieces of my heart were gone.
That is why most people regret it. We eventually learn what true, unconditional love is and realize why only our spouse deserved our precious gift. We know deep in our hearts we blew it and cannot do anything to change the past. There are still times when I take a shower that I wish I could just wash away all the prior sin. I feel so dirty. As tears flow down my cheeks, I'm so thankful that Jesus has washed me clean and white. But, even though I've been forgiven, the deep long-lasting lifetime consequences will always be with me.
I hope I've been able to help you see some of the truths and lies of engaging in pre-marital sex. When the media presented me with a false look at sexuality, I blindly believed the lies I was given. It was easy to justify my behavior when t.v. accepted and promoted my lifestyle. I didn't realize it was a trap. Never did I imagine how much regret I would feel over my past. I didn't know that each time I saw a purity ring or knew a virgin getting married it would cause a little pain in my heart. I didn't know I should have saved the gift.
Posted on
May 04, 2010
by t xoxo
Have you ever done the right thing even though it wasn’t the easy thing? Sometimes doing the right thing takes us on difficult journeys that force us to process who we are.
I recently went through a journey like that. It all started during my early adult years when I wasn’t walking closely with God. I made some choices that I felt were justified because I didn’t have “much going on” when it came to my bra size. To be honest, I believed a bigger bra size would help my career as a model, so I chose to have breast implants.
Now, here I am twenty plus years since my plastic surgery, never realizing that God would one day have me speak on the dangers of breast implants and use my story for His glory. Sound seriously weird? Yep, it amazes me too what God uses to get our attention.
For the past few years, I’ve struggled with some physical problems from an autoimmune disease that was interfering with my every day life. After months of physical pain my husband said he’d made an appointment for me to go see a surgeon. I didn’t even know I needed one!
Apparently my type “A “hubby had been doing some breast implant research and after talking with the doctor discovered that the implants should have been replaced over ten years ago. That’s right, who knew these things had a “best used by” expiration date and needed to be replaced every ten years?
The next day in the surgeon’s office, the assistant came in the room with a photo album to show me pictures of previous patients that have recently had breast replacement surgery. She assumed I wanted to replace mine as well. After all, we live in a culture that is self-absorbed with beauty, fashion, and influence. I didn’t hesitate to close the book of half naked women and tell her that I was not planning on replacing the implants I just wanted them out.
The doctor’s assistant was a bit shocked by my response. I had a conviction to stand firm and not continue to live a false life but instead use this opportunity to set an example for my daughters and for you, my “graphed in girls.”
Was it a difficult choice to not have my implants anymore? Not at all. I never thought twice about it. What has been difficult is the physical and emotional reality of what my body now looks like with its gaps, folds and scars that make looking in the mirror so hard. There have been times that my daughters have walked in while I was changing, and I can see on their faces that they are struggling to understand the deformity of my body. But I remind them that this is from the consequences of my sin, and I hope that they learn a lesson from my past as I hope you will.
You may be wondering how having implants is a sin? In Isaiah 45:9 says “But doom to you who fights your Maker” (The Message). By having implants inserted, I was insulting God by changing His original design for how He created me. I allowed my pride to get in the way.
In some Bible translations this verse says “Woe unto you that strives with His Maker.” After years of implants look where I found myself - in a woeful condition caused by placing foreign objects in my body that God never intended for me to have. I was being dashed into pieces by the disease my body was fighting.
I can assure you, it’s easy to talk the talk of Christ while still living with the “improvements” from the culture. But how would you feel if you had to choose? I’m not casting judgment on others who’ve chosen to have plastic surgery this is my conviction. We all have to justify your actions or choose to be content with what we have. God says that our body is a temple for the Holy Spirit that lives in us, but our culture says that our body is to be idolized. While being fit and looking good is important, don’t allow the media to make you believe that your self-image is more important than the God who created you. (This is the first of the Ten Commandments).
Many people would not have thought any less of me if I choose to replace the implants, so it would have been easy to justify having them replaced. But it was conviction of the Holy Spirit that brought me to my decision, not the opinion of man. What’s more important to me is God’s approval.
Here’s my question for you. Are there hard decisions in your life that you need to make, things that you know are right, but are going to have difficult consequences? Let me encourage you to be strong and stand firm in the Lord, knowing that you can do the right thing in His Power and Might.
Posted on
May 03, 2010
by Teresa
okay this one is kinda crazy, but we thought that it would be fun to add.
Posted on
April 20, 2010
by leigh
The box. I despise the box. The box makes me feel cheap and dirty. There's a box at the Doctor's office. One is at the Dentist's office. A box is even at the Eye Doctor's office. Every single medical form I've ever had to fill out has "the box." You are probably wondering what box I'm writing about. It's the line on a form that reads, "if you have or have ever had a sexually transmitted disease check this box." I have to put a check on the box.
You would never know by looking at me that I contracted an STD when I was 20. I'm happily married now, with wonderful children. I don't appear like I ever would have led a promiscuous lifestyle. But, I did. And, so I'm one of 20 million people that have the human papillomavirus STD. Yes, I am an STD statistic. I never thought I would be. As an honors student, I falsely believed that something like that wouldn't happen to a girl like me. It's not like I started out wanting to sleep around. In fact, I hated the way I behaved. One night at a party, I went off to a room to be alone. I just laid there, thinking about my life. I wasn't happy with myself and the sexual behaviors I kept repeating. That night I decided to change.
When I met Brandon a few weeks later, I didn't want things to progress so quickly. But, Brandon was so charming with his handsome good looks as he pursued me. I gave in, again. I didn't know I deserved better. Like all the other relationships, it was over within a few weeks. Again, I felt horrible, powerless to stop my addiction. This time was different, though. It wasn't just my emotions that felt bad, I started having physical symptoms that something was wrong. Shocked and utterly humiliated, my Doctor informed me that I had an STD. I immediately called Brandon to tell him. His room-mate apologetically told me that Brandon had abruptly moved out of state the week before. I never spoke to or saw Brandon again.
The next year and a half was spent in and out of the Doctor's office trying to clear up the STD. Human papilloma is a virus and it frequently re-occurred. Many painful surgeries had to be performed, with one that almost left me not being able to have children. My body was so weak from fighting off the disease that pieces of my brittle, dry hair would just break off. I was so overwhelmed by depression that I would sleep for hours and hours at a time. My straight-A grades slipped to barely passing as I coped with all the physical discomforts of the STD. In a way I never imagined, my sin had finally caught up with me.
As I went through that season, I was completely and utterly broken. In fact, it was during that time that I recognized my need for a Savior. I was at the end of myself. I felt lost and broken in a million pieces and needed something to help put me back together again. At first I was afraid that I had been too bad for God to accept me. But, I learned I didn't have to clean myself up before I came to the Lord. That was His job. He just wanted me. He longed to fill me with His grace and compassion, even if I had to face the humiliation of having an STD. So, yes, checking the box is still a very painful reminder of the consequences of my sin. But, now, it also reminds me of the amazing, redemptive, transforming power of God's unconditional love for me.
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Daily Inspiration
beauty is not what others see on the outside,
its who you are on the inside.
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